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Published:
February 7, 2026
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In my last post, I talked about growing up with a parent with an intellectual disability and my experience of posting a video that went viral, which feels kind of embarrassing to say. Considering I rebooted my therapy Instagram after deleting, deactivating, reactivating, and recreating the account about three times over the last seven years, it was quite a surprise, to say the least.
I decided to keep talking because I truly believe this discourse has been long needed. With that being said, I have been yapping daily online about my experience growing up, along with other thoughts I have throughout the day. Nonetheless, I have been letting a lot out that I might not have otherwise done.
As a result, my dreams have been wild. The day after the video started to go viral, I began having dreams about people vomiting, which feels ironic considering I have emetophobia (the fear of vomiting). A couple of days after the first vomiting dream, I had another one where someone else got sick and threw up all over the walls, except it looked like green spray paint, almost like graffiti. The day after that, I dreamt I was driving down the 101 heading south toward Hollywood, and the hills to my left were all on fire.
Let me preface this by saying I am not an official dream analyst, but I do love dreams and I love analyzing and learning about themes. To me, these feel pretty obvious, (like, oh yeah duh) I would dream about throwing up considering how much I have been running my mouth and letting things out that I have held in for years. I was told for years not to talk about it and finally let it all out. I totally provibially barfed on everyone online.
As for the vomit appearing as if it were graffitied onto the walls, my own thought is that it represents a version of me wanting to be seen and heard.
In both dreams I witnessed either someone throwing up or the aftermath, it actually did not come out of my own mouth. This was interesting and made me wondered if because I am afraid of throwing up, I was kept somewhat safe in the dream. Another thought that kicked around was maybe I was having the experience of other people watching me just let it out. I am not sure, but it's fun to see what is projected (no pun intended) and interpreted.
My first thought with fire was life, death, and rebirth, in that I could be burning down my own status quo, which was essentially me keeping a lid on parts of my life. As corny as it is, it feels very much like I am burning down what once was and rising from those ashes. For a lot of my life, I have been plagued by shame, and it feels good to burn it down.
For years I have been writing down my dreams in my notes app and I have finally finished my digital dream journal, and it's not made by AI! If you want to grab a copy get it here. And if you are not ready to part with your notes app, thats okay too.